Bhaskar Bharti, Sony Entertainment Television

Guess Who Is This? Bharti? No! Bhaskar (Guest Blogger on Bhaskar Bharti)

2009-10-09T15:34:00.007+05:30

Yesterday I was back on Bhaskar Bharti, standing in flesh and blood in front of my alter-ego Bharti, My Best Friend Payal and my maa. It was an emotional moment for me. There was a glint of surprise as well as profound shock in Bharti’s eyes. Maybe she couldn’t believe that she (that’s me in her) standing in front of her! Maa looked relieved; there were tears in her eyes….I wanted to go run and hug her…but I stood there freeze in that moment of my existence tying to absorb what’s going around me and within me.

Payal..I was so happy to see Payal…my best friend who has always been a great support to me-through thick and thin. I can’t thank her enough. And most of all I was looking at Bharti who made it happen; I thought she was just like me and to an extent she is but her emotions, understanding, laughter and caring nature could never really match with mine…anyways.. Lots more to talk about…. Hope to see you more around…take care and peace..

P.S : I am hosting a new show on Sony Entertainment Television called Dance Premier League. I along with Sara Khan will be hosting this 13 week long show! Hmmm really excited about the show ! …tonight will be the auditions where Salman Khan, Arshad Warsi and Shamaik Davar will also be there…so don’t miss that…and join me on the show....you will find me updating DPL stuff here DPL OFFICIAL FAN PAGE

Payal Is Back: Chain Ki Saans –Inhale-Exhale...Aaah!

2009-07-31T12:09:00.002+05:30

My dah-ling Payal is back! Itni khushi tou main jab born hua tha tabhi bhi nahin hui! Totally messed up with my life. I hurriedly tell Payal how Nanhe has messed up everything at Men’s Universe. I just want to leave and go away on an island for about six months…I think I would go to Bali…ab ek island se dusre island pe jaana hoga-Mumbai to Bali-Bharti Balike Ka Safar…Na Koi Raahi Na Koi Humsafar…

Nanhe is a confused character not only there is speculation that Bhaskar is dead (Vineeta as usual just cant help spreading rumors) and what’s more Nanhe is going around to MU gurls and telling them they are his bhabhi…lol…

Ok I think if I am going to an island need to think what can I do there…

Things I would do On an Island:

· Snore…Snore. Snore...

· Become a Islander…make a home..make a fire place…eat whatever I can find & live like the cave man..or woman…

· Apply to Discovery Channel As a Island Research Journalist

· Learn to Swim. keep practicing and then become a Olympics champion..

· Write a book…Bhaskar Bharti Ki Aatmakatha..then become a best seller like Poulo Cohelo

· Aaah…what else open a dhabha…

Donno…need to think on my feet need to clear these ‘nanhe’ problems..

‘Nanhe’ ‘Nanhe’ ‘Bhaiyya’ Tera Plan Kya Hain?

2009-07-30T11:17:00.001+05:30

Now that Nanhe has invaded Men’s Universe—I am planning to escape. What else can I do in this situation? I didn’t expect him to land so soon. Hmmm..He is my Nanhe the little one at times who used to hide behind me when things looked turbulent and now it’s surprising to see him here bravely standing besides his big brother & trying to bring him back home…I am really proud of Nanhe. But at this time of my life I really didn’t want him to be brave! Anways now what? I know each day I talk to you only about my problems and you people have been just so awesome by giving my the some of the best suggestions. Thanks to you all! Let me just forget all this for a while and tell you an interesting story….

Once Upon A Time…

There lived a boy in a small far-not-so-great village. He like other boys went to school, played with his friend, climbed trees, stole mangoes from the farm…made fun of the masterji at his school BUT then unlike other boys this boy was SPECIAL. He wasn’t gifted with some magical powers or got Gene’s Lamp…Instead he closely viewed life through the lens of the stories & dreams of his mother. Her poor mother used to work day and night while his father for years was rooted to a ordinary job. He dreamed of castles & fairies all around him. He dreamed his mother would be a queen one day. He dreamed of giving his little brother an excellent education. But how?

He tried and tried to find the magic lamp
He climbed the trees
He searched the old attic
Here and there and everywhere
He wanted to fly liked the birds touching the bright sun rays
His eyes sparkled and his nose shined
Fell, knees scaled but never whined

He couldn’t take it no more
Packed his bag & traveled to the shore
No he is not a coward
No he is not afraid
He will come back…yes he will
With the MAGIC GENE
He will mould out of his own sweat and blood.
Adieu Adeiu My Friend.
Adieu Adeiu My Friend.

Hmmm…you must have guessed the boy of this story….alas…things look hazy now. I am so close to that MAGIC LAMP…but the Gene (KK) is sure to make my life troublesome. Lets hope for the best. I will not give up so soon. not so soon…

’BHARTI KO MAARO-VOLL TEEN’

2009-07-29T13:46:00.002+05:30

I know at times I used to go overboard and be really harsh with people but then never did I made fun of helpless people or mocked them at their vulnerability. Yesterday that ameer baap ki bigdi hui beti misbehaved with the old lady. I just couldn’t stop myself and lashed all my anger on her. I tried to help that old lady par mujhe kya pata tha ki maine apne pair par kulhadi maar di! She is apparently Amarjeet’s daughter and now she will be a ‘Gyaan+Vineeta+Raichura’= RGV CLONE! Haha! Good joke…hey! Joke noooooooooo! It will be a nightmare…she has already warned me that the ‘Kill Bill Vol-III has begun so BEWARE!

Now this will be a woman-to-woman fight...

SCENE I...TAKE I…’BHARTI KO MAARO-VOLL TEEN’:

Hum dekh rahen hain ek chulbuli si chehkti hui Men’s Universe Ki Office. Bharti Pravesh Karti hain..woh kuch maansik tanaav anubhav kar rhi hain…who apni cabin ki or tezi se chal rahi hain aur tabhi wahan se RGV CLONE ka pravesh hota hain….tan-tanana-tan—tanana…theemi tez dhun bajti hain.

CUT TO:

Ek Tarah RGV CLONE-Ek Taraf Sehmi Si Bharti….dono ki nazrein milti hain….RGV CLONE Bharti ko Dekhta Hain aur Bharti RGV CLONE ko….SLOW MOTION main dono ek dusre ke aur bhaagti hain

……REWIND…… “Ameer Baap Ki Bigdi Hui Aulaad”….

……REPLAY……..”Dono Fight Mode Main” ACTION!

Dishum…Dishum…Dishum….Dishum….Dono ke aankhon ke neeche kale neele dhabbe..dono ghayal par ladaai abhi tak jaari hain…

FADE OUT.

FADE IN;

SCENE II: Mumbai City Hospital

Bharti aur RGV CLONE Ki Aakhein nazar aarahi hain..Dono ek dusre ko ek tak dekh rahein hain…ab dheere dheere humein dikhaai padh raha hain..dono safed poshaak main bed par leti hui hain.. Ek Ki Taang hawa main latak rahi hain..Dusri ka haathon pe patti bandhi hui hain…

BHARTI: Main Kahan Hoon??

RGV CLONE: Main Kaun Hoon??

Tabhi Amarjeet Ki entry hoti hain : hello girls..Why are you looking so…so..so? (Frantically searches through his dictionary for a word)…

BHARTI & RGV CLONE (CHORUS) : PERPLEXED!

Amarjeet : MUL-TI-PLEX??

BHARTI & RGV CLONE (CHORUS) : PERPLEXED…matlab Confused

AMARJEET : Oh…Girls Why are you looking so PER-PLEX-ED?

BHARTI & RGV CLONE lie comatose(behosh ho jaati hain) looking Amarjeet’s classic expression. Doctor & nurse enters. Amarjeet keeps using the same word again & again…doctor & nurse NOW LOOK PERPLEXED!

FADE OUT

To Be Continued....

NOTE : Yahaan Kahin Hui Saari Baatein Kaalpanik Hain. Koi bhi jeevit ya mari hui vyakti se iska koi sambandh nahi. Yeh manghanat kahaani aapke manoranjan ke liye banaai gayi hain. Kripiya isse padh kar hasiye aur bhul jaaye- Bharti Bhaskar.

Laxman A.K.A Nanhe Comes To Mumbai-Four Days To Go! The Clock Is Ticking…Tic Toc Tic

2009-07-28T14:16:00.002+05:30

I am angry. Perplexed Nanhe wants to come to bambai nagariya... He told me such dialogues from Ramayan...ki bass kya bataun...” I want to so badly speak to Maa…I infact spoke to her but as Shonali…feeling so helpless at the moment. Is it because I am Bharti who is like most Bharti’s subjected to mockery, ridicule & constantly need to prove myself. I as Bhaskar for once console with Bharti. It’s like I have two personalities. Sometimes I sit back and look at Bharti who is persistently running here & there. It’s like a treadmill beneath her feet 24x7 with jet speed.

In this jigsaw puzzle gaming @ Men’s Universe I am trying to put pieces & complete my picture – Member of Board of Directors & the cheque ….Haveli & that magical glimpse in my papa’s eyes. Let me write a letter to Maa…not sure if I can post it to her but at least express my feelings.

A Letter To My Mother,

Dear Maa…missing you badly.

The times when I played cricket & ran straight into the kitchen & grabbed those garma-garam kachoris & jalebis…I miss those times.

I miss those times when I slept like a baby in your lap…convinced that I am safe from the rest of the world & no once. Just no one can harm me. I soundly sleep as you humm the native rhymes.

I miss it when you defended me when Paa scolded me…you didn’t care what may come-you stood there like a shield & protected me. I miss those times..

I miss those times …you stood by me through thick & thin. But now when you need me the most I cannot stand by you. I am not a coward Maa…I will come soon. Just give me four more days & I will get back the Haveli…Take Care Maa.

Yours Lovingly,
Bhaskar-Bharti

KK ARE YOU LISTENING?? How can you let this happen to my family? Enough of these games now…I want this to end as a bad dream…

Band Baja Denge Hum…Hum Band Baja Denge…

2009-07-24T13:46:00.002+05:30

I know this sounds like some IPL team’s song...but then last night I teamed up with Neha, the chick I met at the parlour with ahem ahem ‘peppy payal’. Anyways, I just could not see her crying & my heart went out to her and together we plotted a plan & uss doctor ki tou band baja di…I scared the shit out of him.. Abhi who kabhi bhi kisi ladki ko buri nazar se nahi dekhega…infact aankh utha ke dekhe ga hi nahin!

But now ek naya scene hain..thse people have conspired against me & brainwashed Amarjeet…his so called ‘Jeopardy’ if he doesn’t ask Bhaskar and give me the cheque & entry to board of directors.. shit man! NOW WHAT! 4 more days to go…what shall I do now? I know you must be thinking yeh ladki hain ya problems ki never-ending story.. but if you closely observe the people around you or your life itself you will find that how each one us ..anyways I will survive & win.. but was just thinking Bharti till now had never had a moment of peace in her life..i mean as Bhaskar I never faced such problems…yeh ladki ko koi chain se kyun nahin rehne deta yaar! Kabhi tou iski kaam ki kadr kar liya karo…

Hmm coming back to this ‘Ask Bhaskar First’ problem I have got a few solutions:

• Go for a quick surgery…turn myself into Bhaskar (hmm bad idea)

• Call a voice-over artist tell him to speak like Bhaskar on phone

• Call KK and tell him to make me Bhaskar for sometime so that I can speak to Amarjeet

• Do an online chat with Amrjeet-tell him got a bad cold & can’t speak to him…

• Give threatening calls to Gyaan & Raichura-underworld don has connections with Bhati haha haha!

• Hypnotize Amarjeet ( with some 'words' :-P)

Hmmm…let’s see which of this would work.. don’t have much time though…need to speak to Payal.. why did she have to go now?? Oh God!

Conspiracy…Deceit…Disastrous End Nearing… Gut Feelings of a Girl..

2009-07-23T15:54:00.004+05:30

I was just kind of relieved- 7 days to go & I will gift back the dream to my papa…now the new twist of fate in my bechara life is such…tan ta naaan Tanana Tanana…

Now soon will be going for my medical check-up…I just feel kinda scared with all those white gosts-i.e docs..Going to a dentist has been a nightmare for me. Once I had an appointment with a dentist & looking at those deadly dentist weapons I ran helter & shelter …I mean I was da man but the total pain was too much to bear. The drill machines & the road dig-ups in my mouth made me feel like a bad Mumbai road & da dentist digging up the pot-holes...lol! anyways jokes part the D-day is near now feeling a bit nervous but somehow with Payal’s last few words of Raichura palying yet another dirty trick with Gyaan, my girly instincts tell me though I don’t wanna believe & hear them that that..yet again I need to pass many obstacles 7 hurdles…hmm let’s see only time will tell that..

What can be Raichura & Gyaan’s Plan this time?

• Fake my reports and declare that I have a gupt rog lol!
• Fake the reports and tell that I am mad…hey! Then even Einstein in a way was declared mad…har maahaan aadmi..ahem ahem..aurat ko log pehle paagal hi kehte hain!
• Tell me that I will die in 7 days-Main kuch hi dinon ki mehmaan hoon…
• I donno..really donno…hmmm but then want to fight this battle till the end 7 win it too…

Breaking News : Bharti Bhaskar's AgniPariksha...

2009-07-22T13:42:00.003+05:30

There is trouble brewing up for me…I for once agree not all but a few men are definitely chauvinists. They just can see a woman climbing up the success ladder. After the @Kaul experience I am a bit disturbed…but then the storm is still to settle down. What’s with the obsession with a woman’s virginity? I mean why I have to prove that I had slept with Kaul...Adding injury to the insult. Wasn’t the humiliation enough? I know I could have straight away like a respectable woman ticked him off & walked off empty-handed & lost all that I had earned in the last seven years-Bhaskar’s Name, Fame & yes my Gwalior Haveli...everything was at stake & that’s why I had to play foul & create a ‘fake’ ‘yes-‘yes-we-did-it’ story..

Now that all looked just so fine. I have to go through a medical & a psychological test...but then its like that game show-just one step farther to my dream-the dream that I lived for 7 years & now it’s just a few steps away or a few tests away. How can I just let go? It’s now or never situation...

Some of the ‘Breaking News’ Agni Pariksha’s by great women in the past:

•Sita From Ramayana
•Rani Sati
•Draupadi
•Bharti Bhaskar… (Coming Shortly...)

When In Rome. Speak Like the Romans…When Your Are a Girl think Like One!

2009-07-21T13:49:00.001+05:30

First of all thank you for your suggestions. In a way it helped me gain confidence. But then tricking that nincompoop wolf was not that easy. I tried to reason out with him but then the thought of losing my haveli just did not get out of my mind. I excused myself saying that I want myself to be ‘prepared’. I tried calling Amarjeet but he didn’t pick of the phone..damn! Arrman too…hmm finally Payal came to my aid and together we planned the ‘The Jamaalghota Mission Possible-I’

Kaul..10 Raichura’s must have died then a Kaul was born…just wondering & deeply hurt by this kind of trauma & insult…finally tricked him into believing that he made out with me. Such a fool…somehow not feeling too nice about this…A part of me just goes out to all those Bharti’s who go through this kind of ill treatment…I wanted to cry but I will be brave. Once I get my haveli I will breathe a sigh a relief.

Now that Kaul has signed the papers, I want to go back & make sure I can make the whole conspiracy gang a.k.a Gyaan, Amarjeet & Raichura’s life hell. Here are some of the ways in which I thought it can be done:

1. Invite them to a hotel room with the pretext of talking to him & then accuse them of molestation.
2. Call Raichura’s wife & tell her that he is having an affair with her kaamwali bai..i am sure he must be having an affair lol!
3. Give Kaul Hoax calls & scare the s**t out of him! I have seen Good Fellas, Godfather, Sarkar,etc ..it helps..
4. Amarjeet…I am doubtful he can do such a thing...i need to speak to him..

Hmm. As someone famously quoted, “Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are.” And I for once & for all need to rediscover myself. The man the Bhaskar…

Trapped in the Cage Like The Unwinged Bird-SOS!

2009-07-17T17:56:00.002+05:30

As I listen to my mother, do I get emotional & fight back my tears. Shit! I can't even cry & tell her how much I miss her...things are no longer limited to me..it has reached a point where in my family is in trouble ...I can never stand this-my family's name, reputation & goodwill getting maligned. KK are you listening?? listen to me, its enough now ok-don't play these games anymore... he laughs at me again starting the @Geeta kahani...i mean how much more torment?

He tries to reason with me that I can get back the Haveli, my dream my reason to be in mumbai, my whole existence, its getting back my dad's haveli...i can't let it be sold. KK's talks give me hope-atleast a ray of hope. Bharti can get back the haveli,Singh liked the proposal..yes! yes!...hmmm

But somehow this girl in me says that there is something fishy...hmm but why am I scared Amarjeet Sir is there with me-i mean just get the contract signed and my dream is fulfillled. but but...looks like i am in deep trouble-Gyan has tricked me..i am feeling really scared. no office lines are working...where is Amarjeet??

I need to think on my feet...calm down ok? relax-u are the man...no you are not! you are Bharti a girl in trouble..ok so stop your ego massage and let me think for a while. What can a girl do in this situation?

* fight him...hmm bad idea. Singh is a size of a mammoth...
* shout,yell, scream dear...hello? you are in a locked suite of a hotel room..who the hell is going to listen to you?
* mix up some in his drink...hmm good idea but where can i get that stuff at this last moment?
* dance...entice him..take him into confidence...then suddenly act as if you got a heart attack or say you are a asthama patient & tell him to call the docs
* tell him on the face...this is not what she has planned-he can get a life you looser...just buzz off!
* call up..yeah lifeline..phone a friend...hmmm my hands are shaking quick...fast...no time
* plzz gimme some ideas...i know ..i know..i should have listented to my gut feeling..but now what?? HELP!

Contemplating...Thinking....Learning : Life Teaches You The Best Of Lessons...

2009-07-15T16:16:00.003+05:30

Writing after a while now. Things had gone out of proportion for a while. The dream actually made me reflect over something. Is this lying somewhere subconsciously in my mind; the guilt & the repentance of ditching Geeta, infact mocking at her feelings, crushing down her love badly with my blown & ready to burst ego. When Arrman rejected me, it shook my whole world (even if it was just a dream). I felt so small. I just wanted to hide somewhere in some dark and morose hole some unknown some untraceable corner of this universe. In presence of everyone when uttered those words I felt that someone slapped me a thousand times. It was an emotionally painful experience. Hmmm now what? It was a dream and this is what I think:

When I wake up I jump to the joy of my life. Hey! I see what? The pic of mine- i.e. Bhaskar looked normal-no shaved legs with stilettos heels lol! Anyways I hugged Payal and we had a quick celebration. I head back to the office to get the other picture right. Ok so I settle all the loose threads lying around in my life when Payal wants to make my life just not so happy...hmm she wants to get my legs waxed. Nooooooo! It’s so damn painful...I would rather jump into the river full of crocodiles (I know it’s a hyperbole, but that’s what my intention is right now) but she tries to reason out with me & wins at it too! As I arrive at the danger den for my task I find Geeta there! Damn what is she doing here?? I mean hmm its good gotta follow her & speak to her. Okay I got to go.. Will talk to you soon.. Btw just wanted to thank all of you for your lovely suggestions/tips & compliments J thanks so much!

Che Din Ladka In ...Suggestions Required Urgently!

2009-07-10T13:48:00.002+05:30

Arrman… I need to pacify him next! I know KK is going to put all the worst challenges that I detest just to disgust me…but reminiscing what I have done in the past (i.e.: reject Arrman’s coffee offer) things don’t look so ‘sunny’ and pleasant anymore…hmmm…I think he is taking up this opportunity to sneer at me & to make me as restless as possible. Just tell me someone...do I make up with Arrman and maybe pass two more KK stages …And yes! I will be Bhaskar again…I will be THE MAN! Oh, I have very less time left.. I’m beginning to get apprehensive… I know I know I am the man and all…but I need some suggestions from the girls... How would you approach a guy, if you were in my shoes…? Do you think the ‘Che Din Ladka In’ plan would work in my favor?

Day I: Bahaaron Phool Barsaon mera mehboob aaya hain..mera mehboob

aaya hain…sing him a romantic song …..dress up like a Hindustani

anarkali..with gajra which will melt his heart right away.

Day 2: Write him a scented ‘prem patra’…isse shyahi na samajna…apne

khoon se likha hain…tumhari pyaari Bharti… (eeow!)

Day 3: Ghar ka khana…khane pe bulao aur dil ke baat pet tak

Pahunchao!

Day 4: Invite him to watch a romantic movie…praise him throughout the

movie.. tell him the hero of the movie looks so dry and boring in

front of him…just be all praises for him.

Day 5: call him in middle of the night and tell him I need your

help…act out a smart situation and then in the middle of the night…

Day 6 : next day keep blushing all the day… keep coming in front of

him but don’t look him into his eyes…keep smiling like an idiot for

no reasons…hmm finally ‘accidentally’ fall in his arms…close eyes and

keep smiling till he plants a kiss…hmm ho gaya.. This should pretty

work out…but hey! Do give some ideas…this is really URGENT!

Dump your Garbage Not Love: I regret hurting Geeta

2009-07-09T13:16:00.000+05:30

Hmm... Contemplating certain things of my life…one of my bigger regrets besides still not being able to buy the Gwaliar haveli is dumping & ditching Geeta...She was a nice girl...I mean I liked her, spent a lot of time with her…she unlike some other girls in my life was sweet, simple, loving, caring…but really not ‘Bhaskar-Types’ that’s what I used to think. Now when I see myself miffed between Bharti n Bhaskar identities do I realize what Geeta must have gone through…now there comes a new twist of fate in my life!

KK has begun a real life game show...And at stake is my Bhaskarness...My identity..I am perplexed as I accept his challenge trying to be fearless...The first challenge lies in fending Payal from teacher n his son-i.e Ashish…hmm Arrman I don’t wanna come closer to you...I know this is all the trick that KK is playing on me...Shit! Even after Arrman got convinced to help, things look murky...Ashish’s mom is Jiya’s teacher-he backed out! I know this is all happening coz of what I did with Geeta…wish I could reverse time and change things…anyways...Hope I am able to (and I will) clear the four stages of KK’s game show…

KK's Challenge To Bharti! Special Friday Episode Promo Video!

2009-07-08T16:30:00.002+05:30

It’s now or never: Marry Arrman or Remain Bharti Forever! (Friday Epi Bytes From Bharti Exclusive!)

2009-07-08T14:57:00.002+05:30

Ok this is something that I have not revealed not even to Payal...Wanted to share with you people...I am actually very apprehensive about sharing this. Hope you not going to tell it to anyone. I mean after that ‘kiss and tell all’ story that happened I actually ended up telling my ‘whole’ office fellas the ‘Arrman waali baat’! Shit..Feel like a fool sometimes. but somewhere in some corner of my heart that kiss was ‘not so romantic but so affectionate’ and beautiful…hmm but the reaction that it generated was like I saw some ‘Jurassic Park’ dinosaur and he saw some kinda ghost…hehe!

Ok now coming back to the Bharti’s Secret Diaries. Its about this dream.. I once again encounter KK...I mean the last meet was pretty irritating. I actually shouted at him- I mean enough of this ‘task game’...just get to the point man. Stop building this Hindi movie suspense…ok so he is here once again and this time its REAL SERIOUS BUSINESS that he means…

It was not so clear…I mean I’m not even sure if it was a dream or he actually came and spoke to me…ok now this is the most funny/shocking/disgusting/exciting/challenging/blah blah blah part…I Marry Arrman or I remain Bharti FOREVER!!

I don’t know what to make out of this… heads or tails both the ways my head is under the knife…. hmmm Friday is going to be an 'important' day in my life..

Pyar Ke Side Effects: Part I

2009-07-07T12:52:00.003+05:30

Just listening to Jamie Rivera on the late night radio show-‘I am Falling For You’ by James Rivera while driving back to my place from work…usually I switch to some rock or hip-hop but today felt like listening to this romantic number…It’s a fishy feeling…feeling like hundreds of butterflies our flapping their wings in my stomach. When I look into the mirror I just keep on blushing…It’s almost like a drop of tear would slide down my cheeks…I try to control too hard but not for long…I start weeping like a baby. Why am I feeling so weak?? I just cannot concentrate on my work…images of Arrman keep flashing in front of my eyes…I try to wake myself…pinch myself oouch! Shit its not some kinda dream its reality…Why does my heart start beating so fast when Arrman is near…its like no longer my life is under my
control…tired right now..gotta finish some creatives for the new issue…Bharti I mean Bhaskar please concentrate for god’s sake…

Hmmm humming softly under my breath…ouch Love Hurts….but is this love?

What is this I'm feelin' I just can't explain When you're near I'm not quite the same I try to hide it Try not to show it It's crazy, how could this be I'm fallin' for you Finally my heart gave in And I'm fallin' in love I've finally known How it feels When you said "hello" I looked in your eyes Suddenly I felt good inside Is this really happening Or am I just dreaming I guess it's true I can't believe I'm fallin' for you Finally my heart gave in And I'm fallin' in love I've finally known How it feels So this is love It doesn't matter where I am Thoughts of you still linger In my mind No matter what time of day I'm really, really Fallin' for you I'm fallin' for you Finally my heart gave in And I'm fallin' in love I've finally known How it feels So this is love??

P.S : I am in for a true shock...just went yesterday nite at Jia's place as she was not feelin well..now OMG! Arrman kissed me thinking I was Jia...shit shit shit!

PANIC BUTTON: BEEP BEEP BEEP…Here is goes again!

2009-07-06T12:45:00.000+05:30

Vineeta’s tarot card reading is coming like a rewind flashback to me…then KK’s curse that I will fall in love with Arrman…Payal’s Love test just all just press my PANIC BUTTON…shit in all this chaos and ‘hullabaloo’ I screamed at Arrman and I am feeling so bad for it…his photographs were awesome but I was so scared that I just shoes him and went a bit over the top and yelled at him…he looked sad and dejected…I think I have to or rather want to make up for this…but how should I tell him that I am sorry…I know its three simple words but never done that before…ok here are some of the ways in which I can do it :

· Go straight away look into his eyes and say ‘Hey Arrman yaar I am sorry..”

· “Aise badhe badhe shereron main aisi choti moti nok jhok hoti rehti hai arrman..i am really sorry”

· Send him flowers and a small ‘I am sorry note’

· Write him a song/poem

· Bake him a chocolate cake with ‘I am sorry’

· Get a band playing I am sorry and wake him up 4 in the morning haha!

· Dedicate a nice song & ask payal to call him up and say sorry on my behalf

· Ok really not sure what to do..any better ideas??

Till then I get back to my work on the next issue of Men’s Cover Page…but silently as I whisper…I am sorry Arrman didn’t mean to be so rude..hope you understand.

Hullabaloo at Men’s Universe

2009-07-02T15:26:00.001+05:30

Ok my poor baby feet are so tired with all the cat and the mouse hunt at Men?s Universe ; courtesy ?Payal??but as the saying goes ant bhala tou sab bhala?it was fun you should have seen the climax! Seen the way Mr.Gyaan was apologizing ??I Am the Man? the ultimate ?Killer Machine? ?waah Payal waah! Jiyo yaar J but then I observed & learnt a few things:

1. NEVER ever avoid your best friend’s phone: It can mean a lot of? ‘HULLABALOO’ in your life!

2. It’s all about honey money! I know that already but people can actually stoop so low to just get hold of 5k is shocking huh..whatever

3. Don?t keep you r private belongings loose..it can mean a lot a trouble

4. Keep a pet dog to GUARD your belongings

5. Keep a FIERCE dog to shoo him at 'gyaan' types

6. Keep a pair of handy shoes for ?cat & the mouse? game?heel hurt man!

7. Keep a few ideas handy to save yourself & escape fast! Any Ideas??

8. Bless everyone with a friend like Payal! Love you Payal muuah!

9. Should definitely have fellas like you who gimme kick a** ideas all the time (thanks!)

10. Last but not the least I hate that store room?made me so ?blue? ( the dusty color I mean?)

Finally the Hullabaloo ended but a cyclone awaits me?shit! Amarjeet’s ‘Hullabaloo’ question has turned my life upside down? donno what will I do now?chalo machatey hain aur hullabaloo ( I know you must be really irritated with my overdose of hullabaloo but just recollect Amarjeet?s expression and you will laugh a riot! Ahahha!) ciao baby!

Detective Story Begins at Men’s Universe

2009-07-01T11:47:00.000+05:30

News is that there is a lot of spying going on at Men’s Universe…ahem and this spying is on me! Right from the chaiwalla & the bai of Men’s Universe to the ‘B**tches’ of Men’s Universe. I mean leave me alone dude and give me a break! Narayan apparently is taking chindi bribes from Gyaan and doing a spying spree on me…

Spying is an art an art which like a double edged sword…but right now its proving a pain for me…..Ek taraf who kaminay Raichura ki tension and now this new thing coming up. people our doubting my identity…jis cheez ka darr tha wahi hua…I don’t know how to handle this one seriously…I might undergo a breakdown or something. Where is he? Where is KK? God please help me. Enough of the ‘cat & mouse’ game…Today by mistake I entered the Men’s Loo and there he stands in his entire glory ba***rd Raichura…mocking at me. I felt so humiliated…on the other hand now Amarjeet too has started interrogating me about Bhaskar…do they know that I am the ‘man’ or are they suspecting me of killing Bhaskar…shit! This is crazy...Labyrinth full of confusion, problems. Ok will see what can be done but for now goodbye ciao and take care. & yeah keep your suggestions coming in its really helping me…btw I will reconsider Arrman’s ‘coffee proposal’…

Random Thoughts on a Rainy Day At Men’s Universe: As Time goes by…

2009-06-30T17:01:00.004+05:30

Step One. Close your eyes & calm down. Think of a number between 10 to 20 now multiply it by 48 and add 2794 to it now divide that number with 7. Ok what’s the number that you get? Now write that number down on a piece of paper make a paper plane & fly it in the air! Ok I was playing around ….sorry was just playing around!

I am in a jolly mood today & feeling like I am flying in the air. Now that I am back to my cabin…my dear chair my dear trophies…my dear office oh how much I missed you mmuuuah! Now that I am back no one can tell me to leave NOW….hmmm now time for some freaky ideas for the next months mag publication…hmmm but before that I need to clear out a few potholes of Men’s Universe.

1.Raichura is gonna surely begin with his dirty dog tricks again, shamelessness runs in his veins. He needs a beating of his life. I think I will definitely flush his wig in the loo, donate his fake teeth to the needy & would love to pay bill for his fractured ahem ahem… legs of course!
2.Gyaan has to apologize...I know I know I don’t let him say sorry to me…but he really needs to make an effort dude. I mean its not that easy to pataofy me
3.Vineeta, she needs to stop eating & inhaling air and should consume some ‘real’ food for a change.
4.Sunny should stop calling Arrman ‘Kathor’ (i.e. heartless) & stop bitching about me…
5.Narayan stop doing a ‘Narayan Narayan…” all the time enough of Gossiping …
6.Amarjeet Sirji kindly come up with some new words…Coming to a ‘conclusion’ is now becoming a task…
7.Arrman just one message “STAY AWAY!” (Ooh damn tough task…shit!)

Hmmm time for some relaxation & power yoga. C’mon let the juices flow & ideas get them coming’. ..Btw Arrman is becoming bolder should I say that?? I mean in front of the whole office he is talking about that ‘meet for coffee?’ and all that…just see his guts…aah!

The Whole World Is Telling Me Just One Thing: I Have Fallen In Love With Arrman...Ufff!

2009-06-26T11:47:00.002+05:30

First of all how can someone ‘fall in love’ I think when one experiences love he/she rises in love & not ‘falls’. Anyways I haven’t neither fallen nor risen in love as advocated by my dear buddy Payal, that mystery man KK, Arrman & lot of you people too suggested me that….hmm not that I am saying its bad or something just that I am still ‘the man’ & not ready for all this. Arrman is definitely a good buddy of mine & I regret the fact that I misunderstood him. After that CD drama Arrman once again comes to me to make things complicated further…NOW he says that he is ‘sorry’ for the goof up and all that jazz…first he proposes me then he disposes me haha! Anyways I have to then listen to Payal’s kahani that I am in love with Arrman…nooooooooo!

As I walk on the boulevard of my broken dreams…empty streets just pass me eyes far far ways…I meet KK again this time I will not leave this man… enough is enough I had too much of female-suffering now please make me Bhaskar again….i beg of you….he smiles oh that sarcastic smile just cuts my dreams apart. “You still have to experience the pain of falling in love feeling rejected” he says as if I will do that daah! “Now that you are in love with Arrman…I cut him there “I am not in love okay” to which he laughs like a devil…devil that he is tormenting me with his wicked ideas which secretly scare me very much…. Vanishes in the air as usual…leaving me perplexed

BTW one thing that makes me happy as the happiest fella is that I am gonna make Gyaan’s Life as HELL on earth! Hehehahaha hahaha! (Echo. Devil’s laughter... Echo. Devil’s laughter)

Cheater Cheater Gyaan is a Cheater!

2009-06-25T10:33:00.002+05:30

As I cozily sleep on my bed, royal purple bed sheets… (I know I know getting into these details is so girlish but I just recently realized that the color looks so good hmm that’s the beauty of being a gurl coz you actually notice some minute details of life…) Pretty tired of the binging but that actually gave me sense of gratification & emotional well-being. Hmm suddenly in the middle of the night I get up to drink water…feeling real thirsty all of a sudden…I remember the dream that I saw & suddenly my heart beat bang bang!

I wake up Payal and tell her about the dream she looks at me shocked & stunned… she tries to reason with me that I have fallen in love with Arrman...Some part of me wants to believe that I want to experience that moment and feel happy but no I just don’t let that happen & tell Payal to just relax… “Arrman is just a friend. A very good buddy nothing more nothing less…” I say trying to believe myself what I have said.

Gyaan who apparently is the big shot cheater who lied to me as well as Amarjeet…Amarjeet’s Apology letter just cannot so easily pursue me to come back thought I badly want to sit back on my chair and start working on my passion my life Men’s Universe….

I think the apology letter compliments Amaejeet’s brain cells which have reached the epitome of tiredness & creativity. Yawn…BTW I think if he really wants me back then Amarjeet come up with some nice genuine apology letter:

डीयर भारती (strike out) दिअरेस्ट भारती

I am an Idiot, Moron, Nincompoop, silly, stupid, etc etc…word just can’t describe my foolishness (also his dictionary for the week has exhausted) Ok I know we can never survive without the panache, passion & pompous glory that you have brought to Men’s Universe.

Ok Ok Please try and understand CONTEXT...I apologizes for my mistake, Full & Final...Not please RECIPROCATE come back & take up your reigns of Men’s Universe…I am saary for my silly mistake & shouting on you…I have explained Gyaan also…you are the Queen …ok..chalo now please reciprocate ….chalo come soon we are missing you…

Your Dear Bass,
Amarjeet Bhatia

Yawn…times change but some people just do not. like this one…hmm after this long imaginary feel good mail. I need some time off…

Confusion…Chaos ….Crisis…At Men’s Universe

2009-06-24T10:51:00.004+05:30

Before I begin I want to thank you all those who responded me with their whacky suggestions to my previous post. Ok Now that I have refused to work for Men’s Universe there’s a lot of pride that I take as a woman...ahem …for the first time did I realize that tinge of pain & understood how it feels to be a woman is a man’s world. But now that the ball’s in my court I secretly enjoy this time yippee!

You should have seen the look on Gyaan’s face; he looked like a ragged puppy trying to convince me to come back…oooh…anyways things look brighter now. Now the chaos is over there is a confusion waiting in the queue for me. I get this weird CD from Arrman expressing his love for me…shit! Payal & I just stood there like frozen titanic ship. For a while my heart beat like a rolling drum but then this is ridiculous should I say?? Itni tension kum thi ki aur ek jhamela…

How should I react on it?

There are a few hypothetical situations here:

Accept that I will be Bharti forever & think about Arrman
Tell Arrman about my secret i.e. : Bhaskar to Bharti conversion
Hook Payal with Arrman & clear all the confusion
Patiently wait for KK till he finally makes me Bhaskar
Seriously think about Arrman irrespective of this sticky situation & all the ‘dostana’ rumors surrounding him & his ‘sunny’ side.
Just forget all this go back to Gwalior & act as a long lost of cousin of Bhaskar and stay there.
Ok fine let me just breathe things are just going too fast!

On a lighter note there seems to be a love triangle between the ‘you know who’ from Men’s Universe. By the way Amarjeet’s dictionary is enriching day by day …Payal was really disturbed after watching that ‘oh-laa-laa’ lovey-dovey CD by Arrman…hmm chalo need to get my ‘beauty’ sleep & dream on & on on…yawn yawn…

NOW Amarjeet wants me back…Should I return after the insult?

2009-06-23T10:41:00.005+05:30

Things are rapidly moving on…moving on the sense now that Amarjeet has fired me without using his brains which he definitely has rented out long back, wants me to come back & the guy doing the honors is the one & only Gyaan …hmmm I just cannot take up this sort of Insult but at the same time logically I just can’t see myself anywhere else other than Men’s Universe…its been my baby the place where I have seen the ups & down of my life. But having said that I don’t & will definitely not take up what is thrown at me. When I told them that this magazine will shoot the sky & hit the moon nobody believed me especially my boss….anyways the usual flowers & chocolate wouldn’t do any good…

Ok so let me suggest some new ways to pataofy angry employee who is hard a nut to crack:

Make her the CEO of the company I am sure she will be back with a lightning bang!
Take her out on a date with SRK/Robert Di Nero
Offer a Holiday at Malaysia/Switzerland she will surely melt like an ice cube
Write a beautiful ‘How I appreciate my employee’ with a bottle of fine wine…and she will whine no longer..
Ok give me some GOOD REASONS why I should return to Men’s Universe..

Till then I need to think…think…hmmm…

Top Ways to Counter-Attack the ‘You Are Fired’ situation: Powered By Bharti

2009-06-22T16:30:00.006+05:30

Ok it official NOW, I AM FIRED. Amarjeet Bhatia in front of those devils fired me & to add to me injuries gave away my post to Gyaan.The power of Bosses to fire employees any time, day, month, year, and situation has been exploited to the death of the poor employees. baat baat pe kaam se nikaal dene ki dhamki dena I mean employees are browbeaten & subjugated, just imagine a guy who leaves the job before prior notice then there his life is hell! He gets sued; he gets hate/death/funny/angry calls from his ex-boss, colleagues & seniors. But on the other hand the boss can fire him as & when he wants according to his own convenience …is it fair…yeah yeah I know ‘All is fair in love & war’ and your workplace is no lesser than a boot camp or a warplace often. Not that I do not enjoy my work infact it’s my passion but these sticky office politics makes my work tedious & sour. Ok so just to lighten up the environment here I go with some whacky ways to counter attack

Here are top ways to counter-attack the ‘You Are Fired’ situation:

*call up the cops & call him names & then tell him your name is ------- ( your boss’ name of course!)
*call the income tax guys & give your boss’ address
* keep giving blank calls to your boss late night
* call boss wife/gf and tell her about your boss’ imaginary affair with his sexy secretary hehe!
*tell everyone that your boss got a ‘secret’ disease
* tell you boss is a gay
* Ok I am exhausted with ideas gimme some more!

Ok before I end this note I want to share a funny incident that happened at Men’s Universe. This khufiya khabar POWERED by bai at Men’s Universe. Insider’s scoop & hot news tells me that there is something cooking up between Sunny & Arrman! Ok I as Bhaskar always thought that Arrman was ahem…ahem...not so ‘seedha’ but now as Bharti I kinda like that dude but bai just gave me a shock when she narrated the love no romantic love scene sandwiched between Sunny & Arrman. They gave Abhi & Johnny Boy run for their money! This has been tried & done a lot a tonnes before BUT this time I am FIRED …I mean this is not something new to me …I as Bhaskar have changed the cover pages a lot many times...infact changed the entire editorial overnight …re-written articles & I have been praised for my bravado but this time things are different…just bcoz I am Bharti people think that I have done a crime or have no right to take important decisions….I just can’t believe this…this must be the happiest moment for the devils a.k.a Vineeta & Gyaan…shit! But I will be back with a bang…promise you people…till then let’s make most of this time & take my beauty sleep J